The Millers Wedding

The Atwood Apartment--Me, Cookie, Kayla, and Elise

This past month has gone so quickly. Work has been challenging but incredible to see God reveal Himself to students and myself. It is crazy how working in ministry makes me so much more aware of my shortfalls; but, the blessing with that is I also understand God's immense patience and love for His children much more too.

Along with my responsibilities for work, this past month has been full of adventures. Fall retreat and staff retreat filled part of my time along with a visit to Chicago to see my brother run the marathon and surprise my parents too. The month ended then with the celebration of my roommate's wedding! Living with her this past year, we got to witness the planning and preparation for their marriage so it was a true blessing to then be a part of it too! Her and her husband both love the Lord so much and when they are together, that passion overflows to everyone around them. I'm excited for where God takes them.

A wedding feast.

On August 6th, my cousin Aaron married his beautiful bride Kao Kalia in the park! Even though the Hokanson clan is small, Kalia has a huge family so they rented a pavilon and decorated it with tons of flowers. The day was one big party with a mix of traditions from Kalia's Hmong heritage and traditional Christian wedding traditions. There was delicious food, songs, speeches, and dances to honor the new couple!

If you're looking for a good book to read, Kalia Yang is the author of "The Latehomecomer". It's an incredible story of her family and their journey. Definitely worth the read!

Be Utterly Amazed.

This past month has been a whirlwind. I knew my focus had to be on building my ministry team and raising all of my funding, but I was also trying to balance other responsibilities and spend time with my parents and extended family while home in Wisconsin. I'll be honest-- I was stressed for a good part of the month. In the moment, I always know logically that stress isn't going to do any good, but it's hard to shake the feelings and emotions that go along with it. Inevitably though, I look back and see that God had everything in control the whole time and my "stress"(a.k.a. attempt to control the situation) was energy lost...

On June 14^th, I wrote in my journal that I was at 16% of my support goal and had no idea how I could possibly be at 100% by August 1^st. I then scribbled down a verse I read that day, Habakkuk 1:5—“Look at the nations and watch—and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” By July 1st I was at 50% of my goal. Truthfully, I was brought to my knees in awe of how God brought that all together but even then I had no idea how I could reach 100%. I had made arrangements to be in Pittsburgh to move the first 2 weeks of July and though I tried to set up appointments and get contacts, only one appointment worked out. I return home to Wisconsin in the middle of July and raising support consumed every one of my thoughts. I knew there was no way for it finish except for God bringing it together, but I was still trying to work out the details for Him. Did you read that closely? I was trying to work out the details for Him. Well, had I realized that in the moment, maybe I would have let go and acknowledged the ridiculousness of it. But I thought if I couldn't see how the plans would unfold, then meeting my goal wasn't going to happen. Well, I owe God all the glory for being able to say that I am at 100% today and can honestly say I never predicted the way it would end. I also understand that verse I scribbled down in June so much more now. I wrote it down thinking I love that God can do something that surprises us and is beyond our imagination but I never thought of that verse applying to me. When I finished building my ministry team, I looked back through my journal and I was floored to see I had written this down. How did I miss God speaking to me in this verse? He didn't tell me to work and solve the mystery of how He was going to bring in 100% of my finances. He told me to look, watch, and be amazed. All very hands-off commands. Then God even politely told me I was never going to figure it out. So why did I spend so much time and energy trying to tell a story the Creator hadn't finished writing for me yet? Who knows. This seems to be a lesson I've learned over and over again from all different angles. I hope and pray that one day I'll really be able to just "watch—and be utterly amazed."

So, I am officially hired and while I thought this past month was crazy, August is going to be even more full of adventures. This weekend I will be traveling to Minnesota for one cousin's wedding, then going to training in Pennsylvania all of next week, before coming back home to be the maid of honor for my other cousin's wedding. She'll get married on a saturday and then it's off to Pittsburgh to begin work that Monday, August 15th. Yikes! Well, I'm looking forward to all of the things God has planned this week, month, year, etc. and I now truly know I will never be able to tell the story for it till God writes it.

All moved in!

This past week has been busy! On Saturday I returned to Pittsburgh to move into our new apartment. I wasn't able to get a flight till the evening but our help was available during the day. Well, my wonderful roommate and a group of friends moved EVERY single thing of mine from one apartment to the next. I got in at 8:00 at night and came home to a bed already made for me. Isn't that sweet? I feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends.

The first few days were spent cleaning and organizing. It's slowly beginning to feel a bit more like our new home. We still need furniture and decorations but on a tight budget we'll be patient till the right things become available. Though we are still close, we are outside of the busy college city of Oakland and it's great! The past two years I spent living above a pizza shop where being serenaded by drunks outside my window after 12 was not uncommon. Now I can stand outside at night, see the stars, then fall asleep peacefully and wake up to the birds chirping in the tree outside my window. Somehow...this makes me feel like an adult.

Once things were put away, I went for my first run in the neighborhood. After 4 years of running around the city, I knew it was hilly but now I have a whole new perspective. I took this picture with my ipod after running uphill for half a mile. Downtown was not visible when I started. Yes, it's beautiful but my legs were burning when I got to the top. It reminded me of running in the mountains in Colorado last summer and battling a love for running with a hatred of hills. At least in Colorado I knew I wouldn't get lost in the loop that went around camp. Getting lost yesterday didn't take any work. Not a single street in our neighborhood is straight and though logically I know some streets must go downhill, I felt like I was stuck going uphill the whole time. Luckily the beautiful views of downtown Pittsburgh and the Cathedral of Learning in Oakland give me something to look forward to at the top! It's great to be back in Pittsburgh.

Divine Appointments.

Every Thursday morning starts with a phone call at 9 a.m. with my support coach and every conversation begins with the same question, "How are things going Laura?" Most weeks have had a pretty similar response. "Well...okay. Not much has happened this week. Support is going pretty slowly." I usually have a few conversations I can tell him about and he'll be encouraging and say that I'm doing great. Inside though, I still feel like I'm falling short and have a difficult time seeing the highlights of the week. Well, this week was completely different. I was anxiously awaiting Phil's phone call and couldn't believe a week I was excited to talk with him, he would dare call me 10 minutes late! He called, I answered, let him ask his question, and then was so excited to share with him what happened this week...

Two weeks ago I went to a doctor's appointment and they told me I needed to do a follow-up appointment for some medicine I take, so I quickly scheduled an appointment for this past Tuesday before I leave town. I went to the appointment and of course the nurse asked me what I was doing next year. I responded with the same thing I say to everyone, "I'm interning with an organization called Campus Crusade for Christ." People usually say, "oh, great" and quickly change the conversation. This woman took me a little off-guard when she said she was familiar with CRU. We began talking and rather quickly realized we were both Christians. I shared my story with her and she shared a little bit of hers with me. Turns out her and her husband were previously on staff with another mission's organization and have gone through the process of raising support too. She could relate to what I am experiencing this summer. My test lasted an hour and fifteen minutes and we talked nearly the whole time. At the end she informed me that if I ever have the test done again, it usually doesn't take that long. She was just so engaged with the conversation that she was going slowly. She asked for a brochure and said that she wants to support me. She felt like the Lord brought us together. Okay...let me recap: A medicine I started taking four years ago brought me to a doctor's appointment two weeks ago where my doctor told me for the first time ever that I need to have a precautionary test done which brought me to a hospital for the first time in my life with a nurse that just happens to be a Christian who had experienced support raising and, without me asking, was moved by the Holy Spirit to join my team. I believe that is called a divine appointment arranged by the Lord. Even if something were to happen and she is not able to support me or if it was a five dollar bill that came in the mail, I still know God used that in my summer to encourage me. I was craving being in the presence of a Christian and someone who could relate to the experience I'm going through. God answered that prayer in such a unique and encouraging way.

After I told Phil that neat story, I surprised by self by still having a list of other things to tell him. I got two more supporters in the past week, one of which I was not expecting or even thinking to contact. I also got two really encouraging messages from friends willing to go above and beyond to help me. And to top it all off, I had a wonderful appointment where I was able to share about CRU and my story but also hear how God was working in this woman's life and moving her to want to share her faith with others too. When I asked her if she would like to partner with me, she said yes and that she had been praying about a way to get involved with sharing the gospel somehow. I was an answer to that prayer for her! Isn't it neat that God had gone ahead of me and prepared someone's heart to hear my story?

Phil graciously listened to my excitement and once again was very encouraging. We finished up our conversation, got off the phone, and I sat on the couch still overwhelmed by the way God worked this past way. I know there are a lot of different reasons to have a coach talk to me once a week but I think I realized how grateful I am that it forces me to look back and recall what God is doing. Obviously my appointment on tuesday was hard to not see the Lord's hand but when I put it all together, everything that happend this week was by His strength and doing--not my own. The second thing I noticed was that for the first time in weeks, I wasn't concerned about what percentage of my support has come in. I still have a loooooong ways to go but I'm just so in awe of God's working that I'm not as phased by it and I think that is how it should be. Not just in this time of support raising, but through all of life. What if I was just so constantly in awe of the Lord that all the things that get me down were of no importance? I think I understand a little more of what it means to "run with perseverance the race marked out for us,² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Summer memories.

The last 6 summers I have spent lifeguarding. I was a tiny 16 year-old when I first started working. I believe my first day of work my head guard told me to jump in the water if I ever heard gunshots. I never heard any but I witnessed plenty of fights, both physical and verbal. I was often thrown in the middle of fighting to break it up because they knew either two things would happen...the first, no one would hit a tiny white girl and they would leave the pool to fight or second, they would become distracted by a tiny girl even trying to break a fight up and bond over the ridiculousness of it. I can honestly say I think it was by the grace of God that I was ever able to control those situations. Let's face it, I have a soft voice that makes my heart race when I have to scream. Ask anyone who had me as a head guard my 5th summer and they will testify that I had them stand in silence as I built up the courage to yell at the top of my lungs. In a way I think it was more effective because they knew I was upset and had to anxiously anticipate what I was going to say. Or maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better... Regardless, looking back at my summers as a lifeguard, it was only by the strength of God that I was ever an effective guard.

The reason for all of this reminiscing is a visit I took this past week to visit a few friends at their pools. I may not talk to them frequently throughout the year, but when it comes time for summer, I feel like they are who I should be spending my time with everyday! It has been a lot stranger than I expected to not be guarding and being at the pools made me miss it. Which, if you guard, you'll recognize the irony of that statement. When you're working, you pray for rain every day so you can close the pool. And when a patron comes and complains that you won't let their child go in the deep end even though they are practically drowning in the shallow end, you want to ask them to do your job so you can just sit and enjoy the sun. Or how about having people say you are racist for asking them to pull their shorts up? That is just annoying. Outside of the patrons, the pool, the county rules, etc, there is something neat about being part of a group of 200 some lifeguards. The first few pictures are from lifeguard games which were held each summer. The different pools compete against each other in various events for some fun competition. Then there is a picture of water polo, held on Sunday nights for the pools to compete against each other again. And the last picture is my sweet friend, Coogan. This girl never fails to make me laugh and I've learned a lot from her about crew unity. She's got a special talent of making everyone feel part of a team. And since when I saw her, she already knew what I was up to from reading my blog, I thought I would give a little shout-out to her. (You're great Coogs!) So enjoy a very small peak into my past 6 summers. Just a little different from this one...

Beautiful Exchange

While singing at church this past weekend, I noticed the bottom of the page listed scriptural references for the song. After not hearing the song for at least a year, if not longer, I still knew the words from memory but I could not tell you what the scripture said just by seeing the reference. I don't think this is anything new. I've always known that songs are easy to remember and scripture is a little trickier. However, I have never tried to use songs to memorize scripture, although I know it has been suggested to me. (Sometimes I have to hear things a few times before I really get it...typical.) In Ephesians 6:10-18 it talks about the armor of God and we are commanded to "Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God." The sword is the only offensive weapon that we are given to fight, the rest of the armor is defensive. Clearly, there is power in knowing God's word and I'm experiencing a whole new level of it even this summer. Raising support is definitely difficult and keeping God's truth running through my mind is the only way to keep my hope grounded in Christ and find the courage and strength I need to continue. So, this week I've started something new. I usually enjoy mixing the Bible, worship music, and some sort of coloring together. Rather than throwing the three together unintentionally, I'm trying to be more intentional with which songs I choose to listen to and what scripture I read and then writing a verse and coloring it. My hope is that it will help me memorize scripture better. For example, one of my favorite songs is Beautiful Exchange by Hillsong. I've heard this song many times and know that it shares the gospel. Well, now I know one simple, yet powerful verse to go along with it. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we may become the righteousness of God." Now that is a beautiful exchange and now when I hear the song, I'll have scripture to go through my mind too.

It's a long video, but everyone needs a little break. Take a few minutes and listen to the song. :)